Wednesday, June 13, 2012

THROUGH THE EYES OF AN ORPHAN



I went on a long train trip recently, from Washington – District of Columbia all the way to Boston – Massachusetts.  It was a rainy late spring day, blustery and a little chilly.  The only thing to do was settle back with a glass of wine and read the book I had packed for the trip, Author Heather O’Neil’s, “Through the Eyes of an Orphan”.  It’s a heartbreaking story about life in the foster care system.  While it’s loosely based on her own experiences, she’s quick to point out that some of the worst events described are fictional.  All told, this book is a must-read for all of us.

CRUELTY AND MENTAL INSTABILITY


Heather grew up in the foster care system, and in this novel, she tells us what mainstream media does not.  She tells of cruelty, abandonment and harshness, of instability and illness. Many of the characters are either based on people she knew, or are composites of people she came into contact with. It’s a revealing book, chilling in places, with the underlying theme being the reminder that there exist children in our society who are unwanted by their own families.

ABANDONED


Without giving away too much of the story, the two main characters are simply abandoned by their parents.  They are left in the empty apartment, which they accidentally set on fire in an effort to stay warm as the cold night air settled in.  The little girls, aged four and five, ended up that night in a state-run orphanage. 

Meanwhile the authorities searched in vain for their parents, or indeed any family members. None were found, which began their terrible journey through the foster care system.  

FOSTER PARENTS

Their first foster parents were an abusive couple with a mix of biological, adopted and foster children, who managed to persuade the authorities for years that the two quiet little girls were rowdy trouble-makers.  After some years, their birth father resurfaced, with a new wife and step-daughter, telling the children he was going to take them home with him.  This caused their birth mother to surface, raising the girls’ hopes that she wanted them to live with her.  Sadly, she wanted only revenge on their father, with the end result being that the girls were kidnapped and transported across state lines, putting them in mortal danger.

That is all I am going to tell of the story itself, I do not want to spoil it for those of you who have not read it yet.  I will tell you, however, that this book is a stinging indictment of our foster care system in general, and one can but hope that potential foster parents are subjected to better screening today than they were a decade ago. 

TRAUMA

Using the novel as a platform, Heather highlights the issues that many foster children in the system face. These include emotional trauma, feelings of abandonment, difficulty forming emotional attachments; not to mention the practicalities, such as frequently changing schools, always trying to make new friends, how to dress to fit in, and the worst possible outcome – aging out of the system without being adopted.  She touches on all of these topics, and more, with a sensitivity born of the reality of having lived the life.

AGING-OUT

Aging-out is an issue Heather advocates strongly for, citing the trauma attached, and the very real possibility of ending up homeless at age eighteen, on the streets. Very few States provide sufficient resources to teens that are about to age out of the system.  With Heather’s tireless advocacy, the State of New Jersey leads the way, first with a Foster Children’s Day, and now a new bill introduced by U.S. Representative Frank Pallone, Jr., to recognize a National Foster Children’s Day, specifically for those who have already aged out of the system.

THE SYSTEM


If you want to know a little more about the Foster Care system in this country, read Heather’s book.  It will not answer all your questions, but it will provide you with food for thought, and a clearly defined map of issues to research.  

WHERE ARE THEY NOW

Most importantly, when you come to the end of the novel, and you are wondering what became of those two little girls – well, we know that one of them grew up to be a well-known civil rights activist, a major advocate for foster children, and a damn fine writer!