I went on a long train trip recently, from Washington –
District of Columbia all the way to Boston – Massachusetts. It was a rainy late spring day, blustery and
a little chilly. The only thing to do
was settle back with a glass of wine and read the book I had packed for the
trip, Author Heather O’Neil’s, “Through the Eyes of an Orphan”. It’s a heartbreaking story about life in the
foster care system. While it’s loosely
based on her own experiences, she’s quick to point out that some of the worst
events described are fictional. All
told, this book is a must-read for all of us.
CRUELTY AND MENTAL INSTABILITY
CRUELTY AND MENTAL INSTABILITY
Heather grew up in the foster care system, and in this
novel, she tells us what mainstream media does not. She tells of cruelty, abandonment and
harshness, of instability and illness. Many of the characters are either based
on people she knew, or are composites of people she came into contact with. It’s
a revealing book, chilling in places, with the underlying theme being the
reminder that there exist children in our society who are unwanted by their own
families.
ABANDONED
Without giving away too much of the story, the two main
characters are simply abandoned by their parents. They are left in the empty apartment, which
they accidentally set on fire in an effort to stay warm as the cold night air
settled in. The little girls, aged four
and five, ended up that night in a state-run orphanage.
Meanwhile the
authorities searched in vain for their parents, or indeed any family members.
None were found, which began their terrible journey through the foster care
system.
FOSTER PARENTS
FOSTER PARENTS
Their first foster parents were an abusive couple with a mix
of biological, adopted and foster children, who managed to persuade the
authorities for years that the two quiet little girls were rowdy
trouble-makers. After some years, their birth
father resurfaced, with a new wife and step-daughter, telling the children he
was going to take them home with him. This
caused their birth mother to surface, raising the girls’ hopes that she wanted
them to live with her. Sadly, she wanted
only revenge on their father, with the end result being that the girls were
kidnapped and transported across state lines, putting them in mortal danger.
That is all I am going to tell of the story itself, I do not
want to spoil it for those of you who have not read it yet. I will tell you, however, that this book is a
stinging indictment of our foster care system in general, and one can but hope
that potential foster parents are subjected to better screening today than they
were a decade ago.
TRAUMA
TRAUMA
Using the novel as a platform, Heather highlights the issues
that many foster children in the system face. These include emotional trauma,
feelings of abandonment, difficulty forming emotional attachments; not to
mention the practicalities, such as frequently changing schools, always trying
to make new friends, how to dress to fit in, and the worst possible outcome –
aging out of the system without being adopted.
She touches on all of these topics, and more, with a sensitivity born of
the reality of having lived the life.
AGING-OUT
AGING-OUT
Aging-out is an issue Heather advocates strongly for, citing
the trauma attached, and the very real possibility of ending up homeless at age
eighteen, on the streets. Very few States provide sufficient resources to teens
that are about to age out of the system.
With Heather’s tireless advocacy, the State of New Jersey leads the way,
first with a Foster Children’s Day, and now a new bill introduced by U.S. Representative
Frank Pallone, Jr., to recognize a National Foster Children’s Day, specifically
for those who have already aged out of the system.
THE SYSTEM
If you want to know a little more about the Foster Care
system in this country, read Heather’s book.
It will not answer all your questions, but it will provide you with food
for thought, and a clearly defined map of issues to research.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW
WHERE ARE THEY NOW
Most importantly, when you come to the end of the novel, and
you are wondering what became of those two little girls – well, we know that
one of them grew up to be a well-known civil rights activist, a major advocate
for foster children, and a damn fine writer!